How many heart attacks in one afternoon???

I picked the kids up from school today and settled in for what I thought was a normal, afterschool experience. Well, except for the voting. We toddled over to the school gym to vote in the federal election. After doing my civic duty, it was off to the house for snacks, etc.

It all started out normally enough...until Faith proceeded to dump all of caterpillar's poop onto the kitchen table. Yes. She has a pet caterpillar right now, and the bugger won't die. She brings it to school, plays with it at home, and feeds it leaves she plucks from outside. And, it poops. A lot apparently. Picture rabbit turns, but about 100 times smaller. Anyway, I cleaned up about a hundred of these from my kitchen table and then gave the kids a snack while the little caterpillar dude became free-range as Faith cleaned out his home.

Then, Blake decided to check out the fish tank while I checked out some emails. This means I'm standing right beside him. He's really taken to the fish lately, and likes to open the top of the tank to terrorize...I mean study...them. All of a sudden, I hear BANG and a wail. He had climbed into Faith's doll stroller to get a better look, overbalanced and banged his chin on the table holding the tank. This resulted in a mild heart attack on my part, a scrape on his chin, and major tears.

As I'm trying to calm him down, I see a piece of white on his tongue. "Oh my god! He chipped his tooth." So, I'm panicking and call the dentist to see what I should do. After we determine that I'll wait and see if I can get a better look in his mouth, and he spits out another piece of white substance, I realized that he had snuck a couple pieces of cauliflower when I was chopping it up for supper. Doh!

Then, as I'm making supper a little later, I look over at the kitchen table to see Blake standing ON THE ARM of the captain's chair, his little toes curled around the edge, reaching into the second shelf of the china cabinet with a look of intense concentration. I ran across the room to grab him and found that he was trying his best to reach past the good wine glasses to snag a small Russian doll!! Good grief!

When he spilled half the container of brown sugar on the floor, this seemed like a cake walk. He even tried to clean it up.

It was at this point I just wanted to put everyone to bed and have a glass of wine...and it was only 5:00.